Better Online Discussions

1. State timeframes on process points.
   • "I'm making this proposal. Please comment on it and offer you ammendments before Tuesday, when I plan to call for consensus."
2. Take some of the discussion off the list, so as not to flood the list with so much email it becomes difficult to read.
   • "I'm taking ammendments and comments on this proposal. Please reply offlist, and I'll post back a summary."
   • "We seem to disagree on this. Let's talk offlist, and see if we can come to some kind of agreement without wasting other people's time."

   This may also help build a cooperative rather than combative relationship between the people involved.

3. Use active listening techniques to make sure everyone understands each other.
   • "You seem to be saying [X]. Did I get that right? Can you restate my position, so I know you understand me?"

   FIXME: Include some links to active listening resources.

4. Be an active "mood checker" or "vibes watcher" or whatever you want to call it.
   • "Things seem to be getting a little tense here. Everyone should take a little time before responding."

   For a list of all the roles that are needed to make consensus work (including the vibeswatcher) check Starhawk's page on consensus at http://www.starhawk.org/activism/trainer-resources/consensus.html

5. No proposal bombing. When we get to the point where we're making proposals and calling for consensus, put off introducing new subjects until the old ones are resolved.
   • "I'm calling for consensus on the proposal now. Could everyone stay on this topic so we can get it out the door, before moving on to other matters?"
6. Choose a facilitator for the onlist discussion. The facilitor's job is to help the group move through the proposals being discussed in an orderly and efficient manner, and to make sure everyone gets a chance to be heard. Also, the facilitator should make certain that timelines are spelled out for each step fo the process and followed.
7. Observe good netiquette.
   • (i.e. Limit or eliminate cross-posting, opting for posting links. Keep personal messages off list. Etc.)
8. Don't just critcize everything. Make sure that you're working from a postive stance as often as possible.
9. Limit the number of proposals that are open at any given time to one or two. No more. Wait for an opening if the list traffic gets overwhelming.
10. Be careful with humor, especially sarcasm, which can easily be misinterpreted if tensions are running high. If you are feeling the least bit spiteful, be aware that it will show through in your humor and create more animosity on the list. On the other hand, actual (spite free) humor can lighten the mood and break tension.
11. When you sign off the list for a while, don't do it silently. Always drop a line saying why you're taking off and when you'll be back. Unexplained absences can cause stress when people expect you to weigh in, or if people might think you've dropped out when you haven't.
    • "I'm going on vacation. Be back in two weeks."
    • "I'm getting tired of the signal to noise ratio. I'm taking a break for the next three days."

    The second of the two examples should trigger list members to review the stress level of the list. If it's two high, it should be toned down before more people drop off.

12. Ask for mediation from another participant that you trust if you feel you're not being listened to.
13. Be clear and maybe a bit formal when calling for consensus and when stating, restating, or ammending proposals. People need to be able to look back at the actual proposal and determine what was, in fact, decided.
14. Approach all subjects with an open mind. Try to understand the other person's point of view before responding. Leave room for using their vantage point to make your proposal a better one.