Absurd things thrift store customers say

On the phone

• Where would I find one of those?
  • I'd recommend looking on Craig's list
• Right! Right. I hadn't thought of that.

(pause)

• What's their number?

• I need a cable to plug my phone into the Google.

In person

• What's this [pointing at gizmo, priced $5]?
  • I don't know.
• Do I need it?
  • (pause) I don't know what that is. I don't know what is does.
• Can you find out for me?
  • Well why do think you need it? Your life has probably been going fine without it.
• I don't know. It just looks so nice.
  • Well, why don't you google the model number?
• Thats an idea. How do I do that?
  • Type the model number into the search field for google.
• Which number is the model number?
• Probably the largest number on the back of the device
  • Can you read it for me? I can't see it.
• <after a sigh> Sure, its [the model number]
  • Can you write that down for me
• <grumpily> sure, I'd love to do that!
• Can you show me how to do the google?

[I walked out of the room at this point]